Sue Sylvester Slushie Slayer
by Elle D'Elajoie
Summary: A short one-shot of an alternate version of Sue's reaction to Quinn being slushied by the football team in S1.


Finn and Quinn were walking down the hall, hand in hand on their way to their third period class when Karofsky approached them coming the opposite direction carrying a grape slushie.

The sight of Karofsky carrying a slushie was nothing new or noteworthy, but his target was definitely surprised by being splattered with the ice cold drink. Karofsky managed to make it a few steps past the two of them before Finn came to his senses. Finn turned around, grabbed him by this shirt, and shoved him into the wall.

Karofsky wasn't the least bit remorseful and mouthed off before Finn finally released him, and then went to clean himself up before he went to class.

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"Quinn!"

"Yes, Coach," Quinn said quickly and stepped forward out of the Cheerio line.

"What is that on your uniform?"

"Where, Coach?"

"There on your left shoulder."

Quinn tried to look, but couldn't really see anything.

Coach Sue stepped closer. "As the captain of the Cheerios, I am certain that you know that you are not allowed to consume slushies. They are nothing but wasted calories that don't even taste good."

"Yes, Coach. I know. I haven't had a slushie since the day I joined the squad."

"Then how did you get grape slushie on your uniform?"

Quinn froze. "This morning. Karofsky slushied Finn and I guess some of it got on my uniform. I'm so sorry, Coach. I didn't realize."

"Karofsky, you say? That puckhead that slushies the losers?"

"Yes, Coach."

"Very well. Get back in line."

Quinn stepped back as she said, "Yes, Coach."

Sue picked up her bullhorn and started practice.

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The next day, five of the football team members approached Quinn and Finn, and five others came up behind them penning them in the entry hall in front of the trophy case.

Azimio led the charge and gave Finn and Quinn a preview of what would be happening if Finn didn't quit Glee Club. All ten football players simultaneously slushied Quinn and Finn.

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Coach Sue and Quinn were in her office.

"Names, Quinn. I want all ten of their names. Go!"

"Azimio," she started, followed by the nine other players names.

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That same afternoon after school, a line of students wrapped around the building and ended in one of the grassy areas near the parking lot. Kurt was curious to see what was drawing so much attention, so rather than proceeding to his car, he decided to satisfy his curiosity. He walked along the line of students around the building and toward the head of the line. What he saw when he got there nearly made him double over with laughter, but he managed to steel his countenance and take in the scene in front of him.

David Karofsky was sitting in a slushie-filled dunk tank. Ten members of the football team were lined up to take his place, and Azimio Adams was next up. Quinn was about 20 feet from the booth sitting at a table selling tickets. The poster hanging from the front of the table said: Cheerio Fundraiser – 1 throw for $1 – 6 throws for $5 – Autodunk for $10.

Kurt could hear Coach Tanaka arguing with Coach Sue.

"I need the money from the slushie machines for the football team budget."

"You knew the agreement. It was violated yesterday when that puckhead got slushie on my Cheerio captain's uniform when he slushied Finn. And that was enough to make me take this action and then this morning, not one, but TEN of your football players decided to slushie BOTH of them. The slushie machines are being moved to the concession stand as we speak, and anyone found with a slushie inside the building will be given detention as a first warning. Second offense will be met with in-school suspension. Third offense will earn a 2-day out-of-school suspension, which you know will prevent that student from playing in any sporting event that week. Anyone throwing a slushie or any other liquid will start at the second offense level."

"This is unfair."

"Contracts are contracts. The contract was violated. The slushie machines go."

"I'll go to the school board."

"Good luck with that. They signed the original agreement. I looked the other way last year, giving you a chance to get those reprobates under control. Time's up."

Their argument distracted Kurt from watching the dunk tank itself. He refocused and watched as Karofsky fell into the slushie liquid three times in 10 minutes.

Coach Sue stopped her diatribe long enough to make Azimio trade places with Karofsky.

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Kurt walked away singing:

_The cause of your desire can also lead to your demise._

_When all is said and done it will be you who pays the_ price,

_As countless fools are often loathe to testify._

But quickly switched to:

_I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly._

_I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky._

_And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change,_

_And break away._

And quickly again to:

_It's time to trust my instincts._

_Close my eyes and LEAP!_

He hummed a few lines and continued the song with slightly altered lyrics as he shut the Navigator door behind him.

_No slushie that there is or was_

_Is ever gonna bring me down._

_Ahh-ahh-ah-ahh!_

He glanced down at his phone to look at the perfect shot he had gotten of Karofsky as he screamed before falling into the slushie slop. He pulled out of his spot and headed to the shop to work for a few hours. He still had a spring in his step three hours later on his way into his house.

Burt greeted him from the couch with, "So, how was school today?"

"Absolutely fantastic!"


End file.
